You've probably lost count of the number of showers, engagement parties, baby births, bachelor parties, house warmings, and children's birthday parties you've attended in your adult life.
Stepping into others' singles experiences feeds my curiosity and is important to the work I do as a writer. It's interesting to know what's important to other singles, what worries them, what makes them happy and what they're completely over!
Sometimes I run across things that fill me with pride in knowing that I'm a part of "them." This is one such occasion.
By now you probably know that I'm obsessed with being thankful in all things. So much so that I occasionally get on my own nerves.
There are days I just don't want to be thankful. I want to complain about having to do the laundry and my hair, or dread the drive across town to see my dad, or park waaay in the back of the parking lot. Then I feel like a jerk and go back to being thankful.
Rapper T.I. recently asserted that a woman wouldn't be a good choice for president because they are too emotional.
There's so much that can be unpacked from that statement about sexism, culture, society, patriarchy, and ignorance, but for now we'll just examine the issue of popping off at the mouth.
Oprah came to this concise and accurate conclusion about T.I.'s statement: "I think people just like to talk."
Help Me, I'm Still Single!
This is the name of a TV show that caught my attention as I was flipping through channels a couple of weeks ago.
Part of the show focused on Mercedez, a 25-year old Flight Attendant who has a list of standards for men she dates. After a long-term relationship left her brokenhearted, she says the list is about compatibility and to protect herself, but she wonders if her standards are holding her back from finding a good man.
Dr. Schwartz assures her, yes, it is holding her back. Then she says something that blows my minds.
"I've yet to see the position explored that if you are still single you are doing something right."
This is the observation I shared in the post "Why I Stopped Reading Nearly Everything For Singles," squarely directed at articles that labor to convince you that your flaws are causing you to remain single.
I concede that they are right about one thing. You are flawed.
When someone says, "You're too picky" what they really mean is, "What you value most ranks low in my value set," at best. And then, there's the worst: projection.
Projection is a psychological theory whereby an individual believes they see attributes in others that they've suppressed, rejected, or disowned within themselves as a defense mechanism.
Movie nights in, dateless weekends, and coming home to a quiet place feels like nothing special. In fact, it may occasionally feel depressing; however, ironically, it's the time in your life you may long for most after you get married and have children. And that's when you'll realize the value of what you had, which is what you have now.