It took a couple of stressful jobs and tough relationships before life finally got through to me about the harm in misusing my best effort on things that weren't important to my life's work.
"Yo, that's foul," "Girl, I would've told his ass to get out my house!"
There was a loud chorus of animated responses that came from the circle of lounge chairs. My friends and I sat on the patio eating, drinking, and discussing my platonic friendship that ended days prior in one, actually several self-satisfying strokes.
It's 10:30 a.m. on a Tuesday in November of 2013 when Shanita gets the phone call.
Nearly three months earlier, unable to clear painful pressure in her head after a flight descend, she went to the doctor suspecting a sinus infection, which might explain the small nodule that had developed on her nose. The doctor examined her and did a biopsy of the nodule.
I'm in a unique space that puts me smack dab between my peers getting married remarried, divorced, and inhabiting spaces in between.
My friends are expanding their families and, to my surprise at how fast time flies, a couple of my slightly-older-than-me peers are experiencing the birth of their first grandchildren.
I'm seeing it all. Most important, I'm hearing it all. And for a while, it effected me.
When was the last time you made a mistake or a poor decision, either in or out of a relationship? Do you remember how you reacted to disappointing yourself?
Were you rough on yourself? Did you punish yourself? Deluge yourself with a lot of negative self-talk? Begin to feel unworthy of good things? Or deserving of bad things?
On the face of it, meditation sounds like an impossible task. For 30 - 60 minutes, sit cross-legged, clear your mind of everything, chant "Om," and touch your fingers as your hands rest on your knees.
Let's be real. Who can clear their minds of all thought? Who, passed the 5th grade, can comfortably sit cross-legged for more than 5 minutes? And who has an extra 30 to 60 minutes in a day to kill?