"Beyoncé: She's No Ashanti" is what then New York Times journalist and music critic Kelefa Sanneh wrote in 2003 describing his disappointment by Beyoncé's debut album.
This year I've written thousands and thousands of words in 29 blog posts. This is a 100% increase over what I produced last year. One hundred percent.
If I were a publicly traded company, I'd be winning with those numbers. I'd get a $1.2M bonus or something absurd like that.
Nevermind that the year before I produced nothing...
Not getting what I want pisses me off.
If I want to get to work fast, but am behind a slow driver, I get pissed off. If the store runs out of the sale item, kind of pissed. And if I want to be left alone, but am disrupted...you guessed it...pissed.
So you can imagine how I might react when I'm not getting out of life what I want.
You like someone, but they aren't into you. You aren't that into someone, but they are head-over-heels for you. You meet the perfect someone, but you're about to move across country in 3 weeks for a new job. You meet another person in the new city, but they just ended a relationship and aren't ready. They want a big family, but you don't want kids.
It's always something.
It'll be difficult. I can't afford it. I'm too busy. I don't have the energy. Sound familiar?
If you're tired of your excuses, here's some good news: you can do something about it.
Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote a book that changed my life, Excuses Begone!. This audiobook exposed my excuses to me in a way I'd never seen them before, so if you're ready to out your excuses, do this.
"I've yet to see the position explored that if you are still single you are doing something right."
This is the observation I shared in the post "Why I Stopped Reading Nearly Everything For Singles," squarely directed at articles that labor to convince you that your flaws are causing you to remain single.
I concede that they are right about one thing. You are flawed.
When someone says, "You're too picky" what they really mean is, "What you value most ranks low in my value set," at best. And then, there's the worst: projection.
Projection is a psychological theory whereby an individual believes they see attributes in others that they've suppressed, rejected, or disowned within themselves as a defense mechanism.
Movie nights in, dateless weekends, and coming home to a quiet place feels like nothing special. In fact, it may occasionally feel depressing; however, ironically, it's the time in your life you may long for most after you get married and have children. And that's when you'll realize the value of what you had, which is what you have now.
I’m 36 and single.
Since I was a teenager reading Seventeen magazine I’ve read about how to date, 7 ways to get a man, 3 secrets for keeping a man’s interest, 4 "killer moves" that “wow” every man in bed, 21 reasons I’m still single, what all guys want (but won’t admit), why the majority of smart women, and black women, and successful women will never marry, how to be a Proverbs woman, and the "The Rules" for dating.