Welcome To 2017. We Made It!
Last week I'm at a patio bar.
Cute guy walks in. I think to myself, "Cute guy."
Then I say to my friend, "Look. Cute guy just walked in."
Cute guy goes and sits with his buds who are already seated and nursing beers. I'm talking to my friend, but hawking cute guy sitting 20 feet from me who needs my number, although he doesn't know it.
There's a problem. I do not under any circumstances cold call men that I'm attracted to. I'm nervous. I'm awkward. I don't know what to say. It makes my heart pound out of my chest and my stomach knot up, so I don't do it. If you do, great. Teach me your ways, but I don't. At least, not intentionally.
My friend and I debate whether I should approach cute guy and if so, what I should say. I practice on her. She hates all my opening lines and for good reason. They're terrible.
I ask her if I should unbutton a top button on my dress to look sexy, send him a drink, or bat my eyes with flirty looks. My friend points out that she's seen every one of these ploys in a movie. She's exhausted by my tomfoolery. Her going to the restroom gives me just enough time to think about 2016.
Wonderful things happened in my life for which I'm thankful to God, my family, and friends for showing up for me in major ways. Tragedy didn't strike me directly, but I felt the sorrow that many others felt for a seemingly high number of lives lost and taken. Every month presented a new blow. A new catastrophe. And a new reason to live with purpose.
It seemed that 2016 was hell bent on reminding us to LIVE NOW, fear be damned.
I sit there hyping myself up by wondering what my 100-year old self would say to me in my current situation.
Would she say, "Girl, let it go. It's more important to be comfortable than to take risks. Just drink your drink and go home."?
Or, would she say, "If you don't take your scary tail over there and give that boy your number...!"?
I also think about Focusing On The Things That Matter.
After witnessing everything that transpired over the last 12 months, I remember what I promised myself for the coming year: "Head down (focus). F any negativity, even your own. Do what you're on this earth to do. Don't wait for the right time. Do it now. Tomorrow isn't promised."
On the back of a receipt, I write down my name and phone number. I stand up. One deliberate stride after the other I imitate a confident walk 20 feet across the room until I arrive. I smile and say hello to everyone. I'm greeted with friendly responses. Then I do what I'm there to do. I look directly at cute guy. "Hi, you're cute. If you're single and want to hang out, let's. If not, that's cool, too. Here's my number. I'm Starr, by the way. What's your name?" He tells me his name. We shake hands. I say my goodbyes.
I casually stroll back to my table, sit, and with legs crossed, take a cool, "Ain't no thang" sip of my fancy cocktail. Contrary to my posturing, it is a really big thang (for me) that I just did. Not to mention that I did all of this looking rather unattractive on this day.
It didn't matter that the time wasn't right. "Now" was all I had. I have 2016 to thank for reminding me to not play games with time.
In the major scheme of life, this was minor.
Nevertheless, if not for 2016, I would've never walked over.
If not for 2016, I would've taken more for granted.
If not for 2016, I wouldn't know my neighbors' and friends' values.
If not for 2016, I'd be less intentional.
If not for 2016, maybe you wouldn't be as excited about and hungry for the new year as you are.
Added to the joy of the year, every heartache of 2016 walked me closer to a new level of determination and greater alignment with my purpose that'll manifest in 2017. How can I be mad at that?
Photo credit: BossFight