Own Your Own Happiness

Own Your Own Happiness

Only boring people get bored.

This is what my mom said to me every time I complained to her that I was bored. At 10 years old, it was annoying to hear. As an adult, that saying was a gift.

Her refusal to do anything to resolve my boredom forced me to drum up something interesting to occupy myself. She made entertaining myself my responsibility and no one else's, particularly if I wanted to avoid feeling like an actual boring person. I had to look within me to figure out exactly what would captivate my attention in those moments of boredom. It was my responsibility.

That's kind of how happiness works.

Happiness is a peaceful euphoria that comes from within. It's a state of well-being and contentment. It's manufactured within your head, your heart, and your grateful spirit. No person, place, or thing can substitute your internal source of happiness. And happiness is not generated in reverse where external objects serve as the source--the origin--of your joy. 

Generating your own happiness isn't always easy, especially when you aren't exactly where you planned to be in life or have the things you thought you'd have by now. But if we accept that contentment is always going to be our challenge (it is, no matter what stage of life you're in or if you have everything you want), then learn how to entertain your heart to produce your own bliss. Even in the tough times.

Materialism, neediness, and unrealistic expectations are by-products of the inability to do this.

It's asking someone to dress the way you'd like them to dress (to make you happy), or style their hair a certain way (to make you happy), or take up a hobby you love and they hate (to make you happy), or conform to your ways (to make you happy), or otherwise make themselves completely miserable and emotionally exhausted (to make you happy).

People who constantly rely on others to do, to be, to give for the sake of their happiness, but take little responsibility for their own positive emotions are vampire-like. Sucking out and feeding off other's joy.

God didn't put other people on this earth to serve as our court jesters. Nor is our purpose in life to incessantly tap dance for others. He gave us everything we need to not have to depend on outward sources for happiness. My mom knew that.

This is not to say that we can't expect people in our lives or even material things to bring us joy. This is about joy's source--where it begins. Where it's created. But try not to lean heavily on people or things for happiness, but challenge yourself to fill your well of fulfillment through gratitude, self-appreciation, and personal goals and development.

Maintaining balance in our own lives is complicated enough, but to be made responsible for someone else's contentment is an impossible burden.

Don't wait to find that special person or acquire that new thing to feel good. Consider your happiness a gift to those around you. Not to mention, at a carnal level, a happy person is a sexy person. 

You must own your own happiness. Its owner is not outside of you, its owner is inside. It's you. And only you. Own it.

 

Photo credit: Nguyen Nguyen via Pexels