Want It? Be It.
Name it and claim it.
Call that which is not as if it were.
Speak it into existence.
All phrases packaged differently that boil down to a belief: you have the power to shape your life.
If it's true that actions speak louder than words, then what if we didn't call that which is not as if it were? What if we, instead, acted on it?
Speaking your life into existence is an act of faith, but even faith requires work.
You won't get an argument from me that words are powerful. I adore words. I'm influenced by them daily. Just as much as words can hurt, words do amazing things like heal, enlighten, inspire love, and give courage.
When contemplating the future, we speak to circumstances that are not as if they were based on what we desire: I want this, I pray for that, I hope for this, I dream about that, so I'm going to speak about it as if my desires are fulfilled.
What I've learned and am still learning is that words require something from you. Words are not at all impressed that you've spoken them. Words require you to act. To act on what you say you want, or who or what you say you are because words without corresponding actions fall flat.
What does it benefit you to proclaim, "I am great" but then behave in the most mediocre ways? The requirement of speaking these words is that you must rise to the level of great. You must act as greatness acts. Your acts reinforce your faith and belief that you are indeed great.
If you say you are great, then you are absolutely required by universal law and order to be great.
"If you want it, be it."
This is the advice a friend gave me after telling her how badly I wanted a position that'd recently opened at a place I'd been interesting in working for years.
I applied for the position, but hadn't heard anything back. Later I checked the department's webpage and noticed that no one bore the title for which I'd applied. Seemingly, they'd put the position out there, then closed it without hiring anyone.
Undeterred, I began attending events hosted by the company, making friends within the organization, and gathering intel: Who was the hiring manager? Why did they suspend their search? Did they have someone in mind for the position?
On paper I was doing the right things, except doing what my friend advised, "being it." I was busy being an applicant--an employee hopeful--instead of being their new team mate who they needed to solve their problems.
My friend's advice (If you want it, be it.) resonated with me because it mirrored a spiritual tenet I'd recently learned:
You don't attract what you WANT, you attract WHAT YOU ARE.
There's no doubt I wanted this job, but I was merely being an applicant. Doing what applicants do.
Speaking of attraction, this is the perfect time to talk about the Law of Attraction, specifically The Secret, to clear up any misconceptions before I go on.
The Secret centers around focusing on the things you want to attract in your life: money, love, a good career. The Secret says that if you want to lose weight, you should focus your attention on thinness (instead of excess weight) because you bring about what you think about.
While I believe it's important to keep your mind focused on what you want instead of what you don't want, The Secret doesn't require the individual to rise to the level of their desires.
You're encouraged to elevate your expectations (a good thing), but there's nothing said about aligning yourself with that which you want by elevating your spiritual being, your intelligence, your thought-life, the company you keep, or your behavior. I respect The Secret because it made me pay attention to what I was thinking, but I do understand that employing The Secret is like performing an incomplete task.
The Secret asks: what do you want? Then it tells you to think about it.
The Creator asks: what do you want? Then The Creator tells you to BE about it.
In other words, if you want to be a manager, be a manager now--don't wait for a promotion. If you want to take a dream vacation, plan your dream vacation now--don't wait until after you do-that-thing-you-say-you-have-to-do before taking a vacation. If you want to be some good man's wife, be some good man's wife now--don't wait until you meet some good man.
I just heard the record scratch. Ok. Let me explain.
You may be asking: how in the bloody hell can I be someone's spouse without being married or even in a relationship, for goodness sakes?
You have a vision of how you'll be as a spouse, right? I mean, your matrimonial characteristics: You're going to spend less time in the streets, you're going to be more tidy, you're going to clean out your garage to make room for another person, buy a house, tame your temper, practice more patience and kindness, you're going to cook more, cultivate hobbies with your spouse, you're going to travel more, you're going to fill-in-the-blank.
Whatever your vision is of what it means for you to be a good spouse is all stuff you can be now.
If you endeavor to be patient towards your spouse and you know that patience is one of your challenges, start working on that now. If you want to be sensitive to your spouse, but you've been accused of having the Brad Pitt syndrome--missing a sensitivity chip--start practicing now. From hygiene to hobbies. From financial planning to fun. You do not, and should not, wait to meet someone to develop the qualities of a good spouse.
It stands repeating. You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are.
If you want to be a spouse, be it. There's more than one way to practice honest communication and selfless giving, for starters.
If you want to be a parent, be one. There's so many children who need mothering and fathering through mentoring.
Here are two questions for you: What do you want? Are you in alignment with it?
Picking up on what my friend advised me: To be it. Instead of calling HR and making job-related inquiries, I made myself available directly to the department that was hiring. I used their mixers and brainstorming sessions as opportunities to listen to them. I wanted to understand what their biggest problem was and what they wanted to accomplish.
I brought forth professionally packaged ideas. I solved their problems. I made their jobs easier. And eventually, I earned a spot on one of their boards.
A few months later, I found out why they suspended their search for the job. They'd found a way to get the help they needed through volunteers, otherwise known as Board Members. Yes, I totally got suckered. And no, that doesn't at all invalidate or give less credence to anything I've said.
I am who I am independent of being hired for the portfolio of services I offer. I am a problem-solver. I am a clear communicator. I make shit happen. My professional package doesn't change because someone decides to save budget money.
Same as anything else. I am a professional writer. I am an adventurer. I am a wife. I am a mom. And not because I say so with words, but because I act on it. I align myself with what I think it means to be those things: I write and take writing classes. I do things that scare me. I share my life with special people. And I nurture.
Sometimes my execution is sloppy, plus I could stand to grow in some areas, but the point is, I take action. And taking action on behalf of my desires feels so ridiculously good.
You have the power to shape your life beyond words.
If you want it, be it!
Photo credits: Maresa Smith ft artist Richard Harris via Death To Stock Photo