The Odds On Dating

The Odds On Dating

Does it feel like something is always off when you're trying to begin a relationship?

You like someone, but they aren't as into you. You aren't that into someone, but they are head-over-heels for you. You meet the perfect someone, but you're about to move across country in 3 weeks for a new job. You meet someone in the new city, but they just ended a relationship and aren't ready. They want a big family, but you don't want kids.

Photo credit: emilegraphics via Flickr

Photo credit: emilegraphics via Flickr

It's always something. 

Gamblers have similar challenges. With a finger an inch away from pressing the "spin" button at their slot machine, they only wish for one thing. A precise set of circumstances to occur at the same time to hit the biggest jackpot possible.

A triple cherry, a triple 7, a triple anything so long as it's a winning combination. And the gambler wants it to happen having invested the least amount of dollars--or in my case, nickels.

It's a game of chance. It's also exactly how getting into a relationship can be. It's like hitting triple sevens on a slot machine. 

The trickiest part is meeting someone you want to get to know--kind of like finding the right machine. You both have to be mutually interested in each other (the first 7) and want the exact same thing (the second 7) at the exact same time (the third 7) to win the big payout.

If meeting someone new or starting a relationship doesn't feel easy, it's because it's not easy. The reality is, some people hit their jackpots sooner than others and some people hit what they thought was a jackpot, having to start the game over.

So how do we increase our odds of winning a relationship that we love?

There's an entire industry dedicated to beating the odds in games-of-chance, which includes winning on slot machines. Here's what the experts generally say:

1.  Get to know your machine
2.  Have a strategy
3.  Be smart with your money

All good pieces of advice, but there is no perfect answer. There's more than one answer. Sometimes the answers conflict. And none of the strategies guarantee wins. Which means, we must experiment to find the strategy that works best for each of us.

I've dated long enough to understand that dating is a game of chance and numbers.

Chance: My friends met their spouses at house parties, at college, at work, in the parking lot of Dave and Buster's (I witnessed it), and online. Some of the same places I've met dates. All matters of chance.

Numbers: Dating more people or getting more opportunities to spend time with the person you're dating increases the probability of falling into a relationship you love.  

While you can try strategies to increase your odds, just remember the nature of the game that is being played.

  • You must sit down to play (and by play I mean, engage in the activity)
  • Three things have to line up to hit the jackpot: 1) mutual interest, 2) wanting the same thing 3) at the same time
  • You will eventually hit a triple

Have a couple of cocktails while enjoying the game.


Photo credit: Michael Kappel via CC Flickr